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I dislike Letterboxd.

Tracker websites such as Letterboxd exist as another tool in the arsenal of ‘LARPers.’ LARPers, once known as posers, use tracker sites as a collection of badges to imply they actually exist as real people, instead of the invertebrate mollusca that they are. Letterboxd profiles exist as the nest to deliver the shiniest badges for display, like a corvid swiftly whisking away a discarded soda-can tab.

The LARP is a tragic pathology of the most severe consequence. If left untreated, it can become terminal. The underlying LARP disorder pathophysiology can be described as follows; The LARPer abandons the seeds of growth or development in pursuit of the image of complexity. Rather than actualising a living breathing soul, they persist as hollow vessels empty of what substantiates the flavor of life. Thus, the affected exist as nothing more than a string of introjected opinions constituting a simulacrum of being. Where an autopsy typically reveals traces of passion, love, joy and wonder, you instead find a laminated cover letter and resume. That is Letterboxd. A plastic sheet in the guise of experience. Those who are immune bring forth an aspect of themselves and watches as it transmutes iself with great media as the catalyst. The diseased blink will a dull expression before adding another quippy rating to their aggregated waste pile

Now, obviously the above is hyperbole. There is nothing wrong with using Letterboxd. In fact, this post is just a thinly veiled excuse to disparage and ridicule fraudulent critical engagement. In the grand scheme of things, some would even argue it doesn’t matter. Yet, it does matter, if only in the most minute measure. The LARPer may disagree, whimpering and sputtering as they do so, crying out to let people enjoy things. I retort; if it didn’t matter, why would you pretend in the first place? Don’t be a LARPer. Be a human.